Nuisance of being a perfectionist

I may not be perfect but am surely a perfectionist. And do expect a perfect system around me.

This has had its problems – problems for me, problems for my peers, problems for my juniors, problems for my seniors. I have been told time and again that the surrounds are not always perfect. That the world is not always fair. That things do go wrong but we have to move on. I have never had problems with this ‘move on’ but always wanted the responsibility to be fixed and that people should own up.

My experiences in the last few weeks have pulled me down on this philosophy of mine. I, the one who always wanted a perfect world, have been let down on so many occasions by so many people that I have started realizing that I cannot have control on every rotation and every revolution of this earth. There are things beyond my control, and even if I hold one key of these events, it hardly has any influence on these.

To share a few, I have bought a new flat and after some due diligence, I had placed the order on an interior decorator. Another colleague of mine had got his work done through this agency and was pretty satisfied. My idea of engaging an interior decorator was to make sure that things do not fall apart – as I would not be able to spend time on monitoring the work. I had other offers of some very good and time tested carpenters but due to the fact I was not in a position to spare my managerial bandwidth for this work, I chose to go with a professional interior decorator.

Initially, the things were fine, but then as I started visiting the site over the weekends, I started seeing the problems. There were huge quality issues, I had to get some basics corrected. Clearly, the work was given to a carpenter who was working without any supervision. All the promises made by the professionals were not to be seen. They were hardly visiting the site and a lot of things had to be corrected, redone after my intervention.

This was a frustrating affair, and due to the time pressure, I started accepting some of the mistakes. This was, in turn, building up a turbulent volcano inside me. And as it happens, I lost my cool one day. But after all the mud-slinging and arguments, and after all the assurances of improving the quality checks, and after all the promises of completing the work on time, I am struggling even today to move into my new house.

Unlike my work, here I was the client and I thought I was holding at least one key to this problem. But that was not so. I realized soon that not everything can be perfect, not every person looks at quality the way I look, not every person is as responsive as I think I am. Right from the fact that I always reached the meeting spot on time – as against the interiors reaching 1-2 hours late, to the fact that I have always kept my promises on making advance payments, I always found myself short-changed. The amount of time that I had spent on correcting their mistakes, I could have well managed with a roadside carpenter – with my inputs.

The same is the fate with some other work that I was forced to offer outside this deal – to the builder or to other vendors. The quality has been poor and I have had to run around these folks to get the minimum level of standards. The one key of payments that I thought I was holding was not enough. For, having completed some shabby work, these people start stalking you for the final payments. And when even after repeated interventions, you don’t get the quality work of your expectations, you finally compromise and give up. Because, you cannot do a street-fight. You cannot run behind the legal apparatus and you cannot add to your cup of woes that is already full.

Next, I wanted to buy a laptop for my daughter, Smriti - on her birthday. After some research, I zeroed in on Acer - which appeared to be value for money. The dealer made great promises and attractive offers like free mouse, free Tata Foton+ etc. When i went to buy, he insisted on first swiping my credit card - even before showing the piece to me. As I was keen on buying the stuff on the same day, I relented. The fun started thereafter. After he opened the laptop box and showed the contents to me, I asked for the Tata Foton broadband card. This was not immediately available. I was told to come the next day. I did make some fuss but had no options. The poor quality of service and unprofessional attitude did hit me. Then days passed by - it took one full week when i had to go over to the shop and camp their for a good 4 hours before i could get my instrument. Again, the identity and address proof that i had given to the dealer was misplace and they informed me about this in a very casual manner. I was supposed to give another copy. Now, this was alarming. I had heard about a friend losing his identity proof to a credit card seller - who never turned back after collecting the proof. It was only after a good 6 months that my friend realized that someone had taken a card in his name and he was now supposed to make good the purchases made out of "his" card. Again, I had no choice but to relent.
So what, the fact that not everything can be perfect, the fact that everything does not revolve around you, the fact that my seniors have been trying to make me understand has finally dawned upon me. I realize that it is futile to have high hopes, it is painful to have high expectations – I have surely heard about the famour Gita Shloka – Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Faleshu Kadachena…. But never thought it to be so true.

Last few days, I have also observed that I have curtailed my expectations to a large extent – not perfected this art thou – expectations from my team, expectations from my seniors, expectations from my organization, expectations from my clients, expectations from my kids and expectations from my wife ( I admit, here I have not been very successful though). And I am finding myself more composed, more balanced – though not necessarily happier. Or, I am yet to realize that.