I may not be perfect but am surely a perfectionist. And do expect a perfect system around me.
This has had its problems – problems for me, problems for my peers, problems for my juniors, problems for my seniors. I have been told time and again that the surrounds are not always perfect. That the world is not always fair. That things do go wrong but we have to move on. I have never had problems with this ‘move on’ but always wanted the responsibility to be fixed and that people should own up.
My experiences in the last few weeks have pulled me down on this philosophy of mine. I, the one who always wanted a perfect world, have been let down on so many occasions by so many people that I have started realizing that I cannot have control on every rotation and every revolution of this earth. There are things beyond my control, and even if I hold one key of these events, it hardly has any influence on these.
To share a few, I have bought a new flat and after some due diligence, I had placed the order on an interior decorator. Another colleague of mine had got his work done through this agency and was pretty satisfied. My idea of engaging an interior decorator was to make sure that things do not fall apart – as I would not be able to spend time on monitoring the work. I had other offers of some very good and time tested carpenters but due to the fact I was not in a position to spare my managerial bandwidth for this work, I chose to go with a professional interior decorator.
Initially, the things were fine, but then as I started visiting the site over the weekends, I started seeing the problems. There were huge quality issues, I had to get some basics corrected. Clearly, the work was given to a carpenter who was working without any supervision. All the promises made by the professionals were not to be seen. They were hardly visiting the site and a lot of things had to be corrected, redone after my intervention.
This was a frustrating affair, and due to the time pressure, I started accepting some of the mistakes. This was, in turn, building up a turbulent volcano inside me. And as it happens, I lost my cool one day. But after all the mud-slinging and arguments, and after all the assurances of improving the quality checks, and after all the promises of completing the work on time, I am struggling even today to move into my new house.
Unlike my work, here I was the client and I thought I was holding at least one key to this problem. But that was not so. I realized soon that not everything can be perfect, not every person looks at quality the way I look, not every person is as responsive as I think I am. Right from the fact that I always reached the meeting spot on time – as against the interiors reaching 1-2 hours late, to the fact that I have always kept my promises on making advance payments, I always found myself short-changed. The amount of time that I had spent on correcting their mistakes, I could have well managed with a roadside carpenter – with my inputs.
The same is the fate with some other work that I was forced to offer outside this deal – to the builder or to other vendors. The quality has been poor and I have had to run around these folks to get the minimum level of standards. The one key of payments that I thought I was holding was not enough. For, having completed some shabby work, these people start stalking you for the final payments. And when even after repeated interventions, you don’t get the quality work of your expectations, you finally compromise and give up. Because, you cannot do a street-fight. You cannot run behind the legal apparatus and you cannot add to your cup of woes that is already full.
Next, I wanted to buy a laptop for my daughter, Smriti - on her birthday. After some research, I zeroed in on Acer - which appeared to be value for money. The dealer made great promises and attractive offers like free mouse, free Tata Foton+ etc. When i went to buy, he insisted on first swiping my credit card - even before showing the piece to me. As I was keen on buying the stuff on the same day, I relented. The fun started thereafter. After he opened the laptop box and showed the contents to me, I asked for the Tata Foton broadband card. This was not immediately available. I was told to come the next day. I did make some fuss but had no options. The poor quality of service and unprofessional attitude did hit me. Then days passed by - it took one full week when i had to go over to the shop and camp their for a good 4 hours before i could get my instrument. Again, the identity and address proof that i had given to the dealer was misplace and they informed me about this in a very casual manner. I was supposed to give another copy. Now, this was alarming. I had heard about a friend losing his identity proof to a credit card seller - who never turned back after collecting the proof. It was only after a good 6 months that my friend realized that someone had taken a card in his name and he was now supposed to make good the purchases made out of "his" card. Again, I had no choice but to relent.
So what, the fact that not everything can be perfect, the fact that everything does not revolve around you, the fact that my seniors have been trying to make me understand has finally dawned upon me. I realize that it is futile to have high hopes, it is painful to have high expectations – I have surely heard about the famour Gita Shloka – Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Faleshu Kadachena…. But never thought it to be so true.
Last few days, I have also observed that I have curtailed my expectations to a large extent – not perfected this art thou – expectations from my team, expectations from my seniors, expectations from my organization, expectations from my clients, expectations from my kids and expectations from my wife ( I admit, here I have not been very successful though). And I am finding myself more composed, more balanced – though not necessarily happier. Or, I am yet to realize that.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Trip to Vaishno Devi
Poonam, my wife, had vowed to visit the Vaishno Devi shrine some 2 years back. After a lot of deliberation, mulling, allaying concerns of kids' ability to walk for 11-12 kms on a steep ridge, making sure they will be able to sustain the stamina against the strain with the added attraction of accompanying their friends, we finally embarked upon this pilgrimage.
We planned a 2 week trip to Delhi, Lucknow and Vaishnodevi. We did fine up to Delhi, stayed there for 2 days and moved on to Lucknow. On the way to Lucknow, Poonam had small accident at the Delhi Metro Station – the small pedestal at the security booth their slipped as she stepped over that. She fell down with the bag and hurt her foot. We managed with a pain-killer spray that I could thankfully get at New Delhi Railway Station. However, we realized and further confirmed with a Doctor in Lucknow that Poonam in fact had fractured her foot. The two day trip to Lucknow thus ended in a disaster. No outings, no shopping for Lucknavi Chiken Suit, no chaats – the kids were really upset with their mother for being a spoilsport.
Back in Delhi, we were in two minds. Can Poonam still make it to Vaishno Devi? She was burdened by that promise that she had made 2 years back and had planned meticulously for this trip. She was so close to reaching there and did not want to miss this opportunity. On the other hand, we knew that despite having the pony’s, despite the possibility of a priority darshan slip, the final leg is going to be quite messy. We Indians cannot live without that final stage jostling that perhaps gives an added kick to the entire darshan experience. It perhaps gives a heightened pleasure and a sense of renunciation. So, better sense prevailed after some debate and we finally decided to cancel Poonam’s ticket. The kids agreed to travel with me – we of course had the other family traveling with us, who had kids of the same age.
We had a pleasant trip to Jammu by Rajdhani Express and we hired a cab there to go to Katra – the base for Vaishno Devi. It was early in the morning and hence was quite pleasant. We started the trekking at around 10 am. As the first half of the trek is quite steep, we decided to hire the pony’s for all of us up to Aadhkuari. The next half trip was taken on foot. This was much better that what I had taken in the past – some 10 years back. That used be a steep stretch – the new one was more of a plain. The kids were comfortable and we reached Bhawan – the holy abode of the deity, well in time.
While I have always liked long walks, it was somewhat special this time. I enjoyed these walks with my daughters. Talking with them about various things – I had never had such long 5-6 hour exclusive time with them for quite a long time I suppose. While Kritika, the younger one was her usual enthusiastic self, the older one, Smriti had good insights into the realities of life.
On the way back, we discussed about how these pony-wallahs and the Pitthu’s (the one’s who carry your luggage or even carry some kids and elderly folks on their back) carry loads on their back on such steep treks. We also discussed as to how the incomes of such people who solely depend on manual labour depend solely on their health. If they don’t eat well and if they don’t keep good health, they are out of job. And how long can they work? Whether the Shrine Board has any pension policy for these people – who facilitate the divine audience with the deity to hundreds of people every day.
As I spoke to some of these boys, I realized that they come from far flung areas of the state – as far as Poonch – Rajouri, as they do not get any other opportunities for work there. And it is interesting to note that most of these people are Muslims and they facilitate all their Hindu clients to fulfill their religious aspirations. A good example of a serene confluence for independent socio-religious demands.
The return trip was quick – we had a very good ‘darshan’ of Vaishno Devi and were charged up to get back to Delhi. The kids were excited on the way back and we completed the trek very comfortably. The prospect of a brief stop-over at Café Coffee Day on the way back, somewhere mid-way on the trek, could have made the descend that much more easier, I suppose.
Overall, we enjoyed – the kids enjoyed the trek, I enjoyed their company, but we missed Poonam. She will surely have another opportunity soon. But she was happy that we all could make it to the deity and so half the promise was kept. I am sure, the deity will be generous enough to facilitate another occasion for Poonam to have the holy ‘darshan’ of Hers.
We planned a 2 week trip to Delhi, Lucknow and Vaishnodevi. We did fine up to Delhi, stayed there for 2 days and moved on to Lucknow. On the way to Lucknow, Poonam had small accident at the Delhi Metro Station – the small pedestal at the security booth their slipped as she stepped over that. She fell down with the bag and hurt her foot. We managed with a pain-killer spray that I could thankfully get at New Delhi Railway Station. However, we realized and further confirmed with a Doctor in Lucknow that Poonam in fact had fractured her foot. The two day trip to Lucknow thus ended in a disaster. No outings, no shopping for Lucknavi Chiken Suit, no chaats – the kids were really upset with their mother for being a spoilsport.
Back in Delhi, we were in two minds. Can Poonam still make it to Vaishno Devi? She was burdened by that promise that she had made 2 years back and had planned meticulously for this trip. She was so close to reaching there and did not want to miss this opportunity. On the other hand, we knew that despite having the pony’s, despite the possibility of a priority darshan slip, the final leg is going to be quite messy. We Indians cannot live without that final stage jostling that perhaps gives an added kick to the entire darshan experience. It perhaps gives a heightened pleasure and a sense of renunciation. So, better sense prevailed after some debate and we finally decided to cancel Poonam’s ticket. The kids agreed to travel with me – we of course had the other family traveling with us, who had kids of the same age.
We had a pleasant trip to Jammu by Rajdhani Express and we hired a cab there to go to Katra – the base for Vaishno Devi. It was early in the morning and hence was quite pleasant. We started the trekking at around 10 am. As the first half of the trek is quite steep, we decided to hire the pony’s for all of us up to Aadhkuari. The next half trip was taken on foot. This was much better that what I had taken in the past – some 10 years back. That used be a steep stretch – the new one was more of a plain. The kids were comfortable and we reached Bhawan – the holy abode of the deity, well in time.
While I have always liked long walks, it was somewhat special this time. I enjoyed these walks with my daughters. Talking with them about various things – I had never had such long 5-6 hour exclusive time with them for quite a long time I suppose. While Kritika, the younger one was her usual enthusiastic self, the older one, Smriti had good insights into the realities of life.
On the way back, we discussed about how these pony-wallahs and the Pitthu’s (the one’s who carry your luggage or even carry some kids and elderly folks on their back) carry loads on their back on such steep treks. We also discussed as to how the incomes of such people who solely depend on manual labour depend solely on their health. If they don’t eat well and if they don’t keep good health, they are out of job. And how long can they work? Whether the Shrine Board has any pension policy for these people – who facilitate the divine audience with the deity to hundreds of people every day.
As I spoke to some of these boys, I realized that they come from far flung areas of the state – as far as Poonch – Rajouri, as they do not get any other opportunities for work there. And it is interesting to note that most of these people are Muslims and they facilitate all their Hindu clients to fulfill their religious aspirations. A good example of a serene confluence for independent socio-religious demands.
The return trip was quick – we had a very good ‘darshan’ of Vaishno Devi and were charged up to get back to Delhi. The kids were excited on the way back and we completed the trek very comfortably. The prospect of a brief stop-over at Café Coffee Day on the way back, somewhere mid-way on the trek, could have made the descend that much more easier, I suppose.
Overall, we enjoyed – the kids enjoyed the trek, I enjoyed their company, but we missed Poonam. She will surely have another opportunity soon. But she was happy that we all could make it to the deity and so half the promise was kept. I am sure, the deity will be generous enough to facilitate another occasion for Poonam to have the holy ‘darshan’ of Hers.
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